With the previously established concepts in mind, I now turn my attention to the more practical application, the everyday usage of this knowledge and how it effects my behaviour and choices.
Explaining this could be done with any number of clechés or catchphrases or memes, and catchy or trite as they might be, there is still a thread of truth within them, yet they still clearly fail to fully define and convey the fullness of the application to my own behaviour and the reasoning behind it. Words, as useful and meaningful and essential as they are, still carry less weight than actions.
To turn a phrase; Words convey the state of mind, but actions reveal the state of the heart.
When I honestly recount my words, and compare them to my actions, I find that they do not always line up, and in the effort of living more honestly with myself, and being more honest with others, I see changes I must make to what I say, and do, to bring them into a more consistent alignment, for the sake of my own sanity, such as it is or could be, as well as for the sake of the dignity of others around me.
In his book "Twelve Rules for Life, an antidote to Chaos" Jordan Peterson repeatedly makes note of the power of honesty, of telling the truth, and he honestly explains that to improve yourself, is no small or easy task, but that striving to a higher ideal, of aiming for the higher good, one cannot help but improve themselves, even if by the smallest of degrees, and that the process is rarely easy or quick, but that real change, real progress is indeed possible, and that it is worthy of the effort, if not for others, but for yourself.
He explains some of the countless reasons people behave in destructive and selfish manners, and the damage that it causes, and time and again, I am baffled yet impressed with how pointedly he breaks down things I have observed in myself and others, with staggering consistency, and then exposes underlying causes and the obvious effects, before countering them all with the plain truth of what it will take to change or negate them, as well as compelling arguments as to why you should seek to do so.
After all, it is the why, that seems most elusive in defining, at least when people are asked to articulate it, but what is the reason for this I wonder?
The meaning of why, is for all practical reasoning, the underlying motivations of our innermost person, our "Heart" to use the common Western Judeo-Christian nomenclature, is thought to be the seat of our emotions, the source of our will, and the truest part of who we are. Under the same ideals, the notion that we are a being in three parts, formed in facsimile after the template of God, as the Holy Trinity: the father; creator and judge of all, the Son; the redeemer, the co-heir and example, and the Holy Spirit; companion, counselor, comforter and guide.
Humans as triune beings are defined as a Heart; our Spirit, the divine spark, core emotions and most basic essence of who we are, our Mind; the seat of our intellect, our reason and that which bridges the gap between Spirit and Body, and of course, our Body; Our senses, instincts and in some ways, avatar in the physical world.
The "why" then is found within all three, but which is paramount? Which is truly in control?
That is I think, the question one should ask themselves each and every day. Only by doing so, can one maintain some semblance of direction, some sort of externalized waypoint, a threshold with which to aim for, and reach for. Something beyond ourselves to keep us honest, or at least from reverting into a lesser, more beastial state of being, maybe.
In the realm of relationships, this must be the shared keystone upon which everything must be built. This safeguards both parties from betraying both themselves and the other, with selfish and/or lazy behaviour, as previously noted, the time and effort equation must be balanced between the parties, and this also allows for a measure of protection from degrading outside forces, ironic as it may be, that an external element might offer some form of defence against other outside elements, it non the less, seems to me, to be as such.
No this does not mean that each and every relationship must be removed from others, or that any sort of networking is to be avoided, on the contrary, this would be supported, by reasoned and focused intent by all parties involved. The traditional family unit, and it's variations seems to bear this out, which is why I would submit that is one of many reasons why the basic format seems to be under such a constant barrage of undermining, from the rise of single parent households, to the prevalence of widespread shallow and vapid, distracting relationships in lieu of fewer, but more in-depth and resilient relationships.
Ours is a culture that has morphed from one of quality, long term investment, craftsmanship, permanence and value, into one of replacement, upgrades, instant gratification, and disposable cheapness, and it has permeated into all things.
More is the pity I say.
Without a shared external standard, a threshold and goal, there can be little to no common motivation, and thus, little to no balance in effort and desire between two people, and I know this to be true, because in hindsight, this is what happened to my marriage, and while it did not start out this way, I was too dumb and blind to notice the shifting in my wife, until what was either far too late, or just at the point of no return where any efforts I could make, would have had to be so extreme in nature as to have been heroically improbable for me to achieve under ideal circumstances, and practically impossible given the less than ideal situation I found myself in over the course of the previous calendar year.
While many aspects of the circumstances were within my power to effect, most were not, and even then, how little could I then manage myself and my reactions to them with the limited capacity I had at my command, both for myself, as well as for her, and most obviously, the world at large.
Much like within real estate, location location location, it matters, not just with your litteral geography, but with how you position yourself within your social circles, your work life, and most of all, your personal life.
You must be willing to do the hard things, even if its just spend a little more time or effort for both the short term, and the long term, because it might cost you some sleep today, or some money tomorrow, but it can reward you with so much more of both and other things, if you are willing to do it, if you can do it.
You must set yourself a bar, and then reach for it, with all you can possibly muster up to do so, and then keep at it.
Sloth, while comfortable, will kill you and your dreams and desires if you let it.
So as I have again learned, don't fucking let it.
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